Maybe I can finally get myself a Humvee

If you have at least $10,000 and a desire to be banged around by your vehicle, you’re in luck. The Army is auctioning off a bunch of its surplus Humvees.

When the military first started using Humvees, I wanted one. I wanted one bad. I thought it would be a perfect rig to use for hunting and fishing. Of course, that’s before I got the chance to drive one.

The military Humvee, or High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle, is not a comfortable ride. But then, it’s not really meant to be. The company that created the Humvee, AM General, teamed up with General Motors back in the late ’80s or early ’90s and rolled out a civilian version, as well as the smaller H2 and H3 models. They didn’t want the government to offer Humvees to the public, because they thought it would hurt the sales of their consumer models.

Until now, the military has been scrapping used Humvees, using whatever parts off the old ones it could. But with the development of the Humvee’s replacement, the Joint Light Tactical Vehicle, they’re not going to need as many spare parts much longer. Besides, the civilian Hummer models stopped being built in 2010.

But don’t think you’re going to get your hands on a Humvee for nothing. The online auction site IronPlanet is putting the surplus rigs up for sale, and bids will start at $10,000. If you have the winning bid, you’ll be expected to make full payment within three days.

And then there’s the other catch. Because military Humvees don’t have titles, you can’t license them. That means you can’t take them on paved roads. If you get one, you can only drive it on dirt.

Maybe that’ll keep most prospective buyers away. Maybe you can pick one up for just a little more than the $10,000 opening bid so you can use it for a hunting truck. But if you do, be sure to take your flatbed to pick it up, because you won’t be allowed to drive that sucker home.

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