I give up on romance — I’m shooting for practical

Thank goodness today only comes once a year. I’m a hopeless romantic in the sense that romance for me is exactly that – hopeless.

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. I hate Valentine’s Day.

It’s supposed to be a day when romance blossoms. Whether you’re in a shiny, new relationship, or have been married for 70 years, or anything in between, it’s supposed to be a day for you and your sweetheart. But I always goof it up.

I’ve tried taking my beloved wife to the goose pit with me, but she didn’t enjoy it, because it was 30 degrees below zero and blowing like a hurricane. I tried taking her ice fishing, but I slipped on the ice and dragged her down with me. I tried making her a romantic dinner of fresh-killed rabbits, but I didn’t get the mess cleaned up from cleaning them before she got home from work.

I’ve gone the over-the-top romantic way, as well. I got reservations at the fanciest restaurant in town, got us a room for the night in the nicest bed and breakfast around, and hired a limo to take us from one to the other. But that, admittedly, was more money than I should have spent at the time.

So this year, I’m going practical. It’s probably not the most romantic Valentine’s Day gift ever given, but maybe it’s the right thing for this circumstance. She’s been driving around with a horribly cracked and pitted windshield, but she doesn’t want to spend the money to get it fixed. That’s where her Prince Charming comes in. I’ve saved up enough from selling my photos to get her a new one, so I’ll go steal her 4Runner today, run it down to the glass shop, and have a new one installed while she’s at work.

No, it’s not romantic. But that never got me anywhere, anyway. I’ll see if going practical does the trick.

And yes, I was smart enough to save up enough to also get her a few flowers to go along with the windshield.